i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Randomize
