Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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