I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
