haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
