Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
where does the pee come out of this thing
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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