Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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