Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
