dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Last time i carry you out of a forest
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
