The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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