Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
