If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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