I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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