I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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