My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
