she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
did you just send me my own nude
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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