the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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