dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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