Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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