Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
