Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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