He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
