We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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