I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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