There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
