Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
