So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
