I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I can text with my tongue
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
