I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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