Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
