I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
