I hate all girls vehemently.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
