I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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