Kiss
Puke
my phone needs a breathalizer
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
