is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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