they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
