Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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