i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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