why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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