the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize