Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
