Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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