i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How naked do you want me to be?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
