I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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