The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
