the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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