He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
