normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
