wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
