I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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