Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
and she was petting her beer can
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
