sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
