Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
