He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
id be glad to
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
im six kinds of drunk right now
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
