I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize