There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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