I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
