Sry I called you an 8
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
