Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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