I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
