is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My pussy is not your playground.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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