we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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