Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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