I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
