Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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